WHO AM I?

by Vivian Z.

Who am I?
A question that plagues all
A speck in the universe
an entity that learns through the environment

First day of school, new territory, new beginnings
I look around for anything in sight
a friend, an entity to feel close to, someone, anyone

I make a friend
“Of course all The Plastics are in the same gym class.” she utters
The plastics?
apparently “Teen Royalty”
they say the queen bee of the group is Regina George

I look at myself and see all the things I’m not
I look at my mom, dad, brother and I see the things they’re not
I’m confused
I’m lost

Immediately I search, grasp onto anything I can reach
to make me. “Teen Royalty”
Convinced I can be a Somebody

But what is a Somebody?
“Teen Royalty” apparently

I live through my teens with blinkers
rose colored glasses, a plastic uniform dress and falsies over eyes
My eyes aren’t blue, but I’m still teen royalty, I’m Somebody

I leave my throne unto a new kingdom
First day at a new school, new territory, new beginnings
I look around and I don’t see people worthy of “Royalty”
I see. People who look more like me
I’m confused
I’m lost

Immediately I search, grasp onto anything i can reach
to make me. human
To make me a Somebody

I realize now that “SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE”
was meant for me
I didn’t belong

who am I?
not who I thought I was
but actually
a foot solider for the the “royalty”
But my loyalties still lie there

I look back with shame and regret
to what I became
But now I’m becoming
The blinders are off and I see who I am
I am me, different but the same

But these blinders were the rose colored glasses I relied on
I now see so much color
but yet it seems more black and white than it ever was before
I’m confused
I’m lost
Who am I?